I am not much of a swimmer.
I did take swimming lessons as a child, but I never really learned to
keep my head under water without holding my nose. I can swim the length of a small pool and
hold my own for personal enjoyment.
Mostly I enjoy using a flotation device. I love going to the beach and about
mid-winter that would be especially nice.
I spent several days in Matthew 14 reading and
meditating on the passages there this past week.
Walking these pages of scripture absorbing Jesus’ life is so fascinating. I camp out as long as necessary without
outside influences and let his Word work into my heart. Sadly this chapter begins with the death of
John the Baptist. The heralder of Christ
has just been killed at the hands of Herod on a foolish whim. As soon as Jesus
receives this news he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. I cannot imagine how immensely saddened and
burdened his heart was over this loss, ever aware of his own impending
death. Quiet and private time with Abba
Father was a certain necessity.
Crowds (multitudes, can we even imagine how many that is?)
of people knew that he was aboard a boat and hurriedly followed its path looking for an
opportunity for him to come ashore.
Scripture says that when Jesus landed and saw the large crowd, he had
compassion on them and healed their sick.
Despite his own grief, Jesus still managed to greet the people and
meet their needs. He graciously met with
them and healed them. I am amazed
at the personal tenderness Jesus had for the hundreds, literally thousands that
pressed in for his attention and healing.
He met them right where they were in their hurt, wounds and
difficulties. Earlier in Matthew 9 the
Scriptures speak of Jesus being moved with compassion knowing their spiritual
needs were even more desperate than the need for physical healing.
He had been ministering to the people since early morning and soon the disciples realized it was getting late in the afternoon and there
was no food. Their solution was to
dismiss the crowds and send them back to find food in town. With no fast food and large eating
establishments this would have been a huge strain on the neighboring towns to
meet the need to feed over 5000 hungry people.
Jesus said they did not need to go away, the disciples needed to feed
them. It is just like him to ask us to do something that is so totally beyond ourselves so we can watch him work... The disciples public declaration of
insufficiency paved the way for everyone to witness a miracle.
Owning a hospitality business and having served church
dinners, feeding a few people can be daunting to ensure you have plenty of
food, but 5000 in the middle of nowhere?
I really would have loved to be a witness and a partaker of bread and
fish blessed by Jesus. Five loaves and
two fish fed 5000 plus. It takes
two loaves of bread and 6-8 eggs to serve enough French toast to a full house
at our establishment that is equal to 8 to 10 people. The kicker?
These 5000 plus were fed to satisfaction and there were 12 baskets of
leftovers. I can see them lining up for
to go bags now. After witnessing this
miracle and serving and cleaning up the premises, interestingly, Jesus
discharges the disciples to board their boat and go on ahead of him. I’m also guessing
they packed a lunch. Their eyes had seen
so much that day. Healing, feeding,
blessing….they needed some time to themselves to take all this in as well.
Jesus turns to the crowd and I can only imagine the graciousness with which he dismisses them to go home. Loving eyes that gently
tell them to go home, worship God, love others, share this new faith they have
found. Oh to hear his words, know his
loving touch. As the final ones depart, one
last wave, he heads up the mountainside to pray.
Solitude.
Quiet.
Long moments with Abba Father.
What did these prayer moments look like? What did they sound like? After ministering to literally thousands, did
he bathe their lives in prayer? Did he
look forward to the next stop? He had
met so many physical needs in healing the sick, filling them with food, pouring out his life so they could know the Father’s love. Unimaginable grace and sacrifice given even
in light of his own personal grief.
As evening came and he was alone he could see the boat was
considerable distance, but the disciples were having a bit of a rough ride as
the waves were very contrary that night.
I’m pretty sure I would have been content to sit on the mountainside and
wait out the storm, but not Jesus. He
heads on down and walks out on the water toward the little boat. Isn’t there just a part of you that just says
he has a great sense of humor? “Oh there
they are, I’ll just walk on out to the boat.”
No doubt the disciples are terrified at this sight! Who walks on water? Who walks on water at night? Who walks on water at night in a storm? They are convinced it’s a ghost and they are
screaming in terror!
Here’s the best part, he says, “Be of good cheer!” “Take courage!” “It’s me” “Don’t be afraid!”
Really Jesus, you just decided to walk on out here on the water in the dark in a storm??? You scared us half to death.
Peter always incredibly impetuous decides it’s not enough
just to watch him do it, he must do it too and says, “if it’s you, tell me to
walk on out to you.” There is not a hint
of it in the pages of Scripture, but surely Jesus laughed a little to himself as
he said, “Come.” Bless his heart, Peter
sure enough went over the side of the boat and walked on the water. I’m always one to kind of visualize this type
of scene as the others are watching wide eyed and Peter is making his way
across not so calm waters. In fact,
he becomes more consumed with the waves and wind than Jesus and begins to
sink. He cries out, “Lord, save
me!” Literally grabbing hold of Peter,
Jesus lifts him from the water and they both get on the boat. “You of little faith, why did you
doubt?” I do believe this was said in ear shot of all
the disciples. After all that has
happened today, all you have seen and witnessed, you still have such little
faith? I don’t believe it was condemning
at all, but more an observation for them to consider. Why do you doubt? He caused the waves exhaust themselves and stop -
they all exclaim that he is the Son of God.
What else could they say?
We all want to walk on water with Jesus. We look out expectantly from the comfort of
our boat and are terrified at first. We can see who he is, that we want to be
with him. We have seen him meet our physical and spiritual need. We ask him to tell us to come
out on the water and he says, “Come.”
Brave at first, we step out of our boat and head towards him. But like Peter, we see the waves and the
storm around us. The world clamors for
our attention. It hammers at us and
shouts insults. The waves are
opinionated, stubborn and offended at us. We falter and take our eyes off of
Jesus and we begin to sink. We cry out,
“Lord, save me!” With strong arms he
grabs us up out of the mire and muck.
Drenched, he sets us back in the boat with loving eyes saying, “You of
little faith, why did you doubt?”
Jesus looks on us and smiles at our misguided attempts to
live out our life in the way we see fit.
It is not who we want to be. We
want to be alive with His power, filled to overflowing with His story…..so Who
are we? But the question should be,
Whose are we?
Maybe I have been a woman of recklessness, a woman who turned
her heart away from the Lord in frustration, a woman who cried herself to sleep
because of the grief she had caused someone else. What remains of the mess we make? Fragments, disgrace, hurt, wounds, a sense of
loss?
Certainly not.
This Jesus who says “Come” – we are his beloved. He leaves nothing untouched by his
mercy. His eyes, his grasp is on me – my
eyes need only be fixed on the one who gives me faith.
Choose to let the Son of God fill you today. Don’t become consumed with your circumstances
that you miss the divine moments he allows for you. Remember that you are a recipient of a love
so wild and beautiful that the world can’t understand it. Look in his generous tender eyes as he meets
your need, physical ones and spiritual ones.
As he calls to you let him demonstrate what he can do, things that are beyond yourself.... Choose to get out of the boat, choose today to walk on water.
(Photos courtesy of Jeanne Carpenter, Gulf Shores, AL www.vrbo.com/50470)
